Searching For a Former Clarity
by DCFanatic4life
Summary: Chris and Stephanie both made their choices, but is it really worth being apart?
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer: I do not own the characters or real people portrayed in this story. The characters are owned by the WWE, while the real people own themselves. There will be swearing so if you have sensitive eyes, then you're better off turning around right now, you've been warned!**

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A/N: So, as you all probably know by now, I accept challenge fics (and if you don't, well, now you do!). This was a challenge from the author, SmoochyDreams (if you haven't read her stuff, you should!), where the prompt was selfish, and where one character (or both I suppose) is selfish about something, which drives the other away. She, in turn, is spinning her own take on the story, which is called On the Path Unwinding.

So I know I shouldn't accept more stories, but with Meet and Greet being so quickly updated, I thought, what the hell, plus, I don't back down from challenges. So, in order to understand the story, all you need to know is that neither Chris nor Stephanie have ever been married, therefore, there aren't kids. Now off you go.

If you want to review, please do so, and as per usual, if you want to be brutal, go right ahead! :)

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A band.

She'd lost him to…a band.

Since the moment she started dating Chris, she'd always pictured their demise one of two ways. They would either crash and burn like some giant supernova in the sky, millions upon billions upon trillions of light rays generating enough heat to burn the entire universe to a crisp. Or they would be happy, die old, in their rocking chairs, their hands clasped together as they watch their last sunset. Stephanie liked to take things to the extremes.

When she pictured the first scenario, it was always so dramatic. There would be bloodshed, there would be war, there would be an eternal struggle back and forth, a tug-of-war for supremacy. That was just the kind of relationship she and Chris had, fiery, passionate, no room for anything but themselves, their words, their actions. They were two independent people who collided together, over and over and over again.

When it finally did happen, the crash and burn, it wasn't actually a crash and burn, it was more like a fizzle and a pop, like someone had shaken a soda can too hard, opened it, and sprayed soda everywhere. That's how dramatic it was. There were a million different ways it could have ended. She could have cheated, he could have cheated, they could have fought, they could have raged, but in the end, fizzle…

Then pop.

A band.

The other woman had been…a band.

She didn't hate Fozzy, in fact, she loved them. She recalled, quite clearly because she had a wonderful memory thank you very much, the first moment when she'd actually taken notice of his band. Oh, she'd known about it, heard about it from Chris himself before then, but she'd mistaken it for a silly hobby because honestly, wasn't that kind of what cover bands were, hobbies for guys who couldn't be in real bands?

She wasn't dating Chris at the time, but they'd had a scene together, one of many, their fans were so spoiled when it came to the two of them. Hell, they were even more spoiled once they started dating. She thought to them briefly, how would _they_ take the news? How unselfish of her, thinking of the fans and how they might take the breakup. Or maybe she was deflecting, yes, definitely deflecting. Focusing on someone else's hurt let her ignore her own, which, at this moment was a godsend.

She had to go up to him and ask him if he was happy on SmackDown, oh the irony of it now, sitting there as she was, alone, in their house, where they lived, his things permeating her senses. His goddamn ugly-ass, ratty, old shoes with the hole on the side were sitting by the sliding door to the backyard. He called them his lucky shoes because they'd been the shoes he was wearing when he first entered the Dungeon (which wasn't so much an actual dungeon). Yes, he kept 22 year old shoes because he was _that_ kind of guy. His free weights were next to the fire place because he liked to lift them after he did his yoga regiment. His stupid face was all over her pictures, and she resisted the urge to cut his face out of every single one of them and make a little horrible Chris Irvine collage, drawing mustaches and devil horns on all of them, then sending it to him. He'd probably think it was so rock and roll so she immediately dismissed the idea.

So yes, she'd asked if he was happy, and he'd lied to her then, in that scene, so long ago, but he gave her his CD. He really did, it was his CD, sitting there, pristine as could be, waiting for her to listen. He'd told her after the cameras stopped rolling that she really could keep it, if she wanted it. She remembered turning it over in her hands, reading the back, looking over the songs, then smiling up at him and nodding, telling him she'd love to listen to what he came up with.

So she'd listened and she'd liked them, she'd become a Fozzy Floozy if you will. When she'd told Chris this, he'd looked at her sheepishly, embarrassed by her praise. He was such a weird guy, a contradiction so much of the time. Every once in a while, with a person he trusted, the façade, his strong, macho, I can do anything façade would crumble and reveal this humble, quiet, thoughtful man. Then every once in a while, that façade would get thicker and reveal an annoying lunatic.

One she'd lost.

To a band…

They'd started dating at the beginning of 2003. 9 years, completely down the drain. She couldn't understand him, had she ever? She was only thankful they'd never gotten married. Oh yes, that was the twist in all of this, they'd never gotten married, 9 years of blissful dating, so when the end came, it was neat and crisp, like a pair of scissors tearing right through their life, snip, snip, snip, it was over. Sure, he had to get his things, sure, he had to take his stupid ass muscle car out of their car, sure, he had to give back the keys to the house (like hell she was moving, he was the one who'd left), but there were no divorce proceedings, no custody battles, nothing, just two people, walking away.

Their proverbial soda can had been shaking for a long time though. It was distance mostly, distance when he wasn't with the company. She traveled, he traveled, they both traveled and it came down to a choice, for both of them really. Chris's band had recently hit the big time, well, bigger than the times before it. They'd signed with a major label, their new album would have lots of publicity surrounding it, they were going on a major tour, and that's where the problems started.

Stephanie was proud of the band, proud of their accomplishments, she was not however, proud of the fact they were going to travel the world…again. Stephanie traveled too and the distance, the time spent apart, they should have known it would come down to this, come down to a decision they'd have to make. She didn't hate him, quite the contrary, she loved Chris, she'd loved him for 9 years, 9 years of her life spent loving him.

So what if she couldn't stand his stupid face right now?

It all came down to her and his band. She couldn't travel with him, couldn't leave her job because her job was something that required her presence, required her expertise. She needed to be at the shows. She was taking over for her father when he eventually retired (she expected it to be when he turned 120, she was quite sure her father had some pact with the devil), and she needed to be there, to take the reins, to learn from the best, not to mention, she _wrote_ for the show so in order to write for the characters, she had to immerse herself in them.

Chris, however, could certainly travel with her. He could give up the band, travel with her, be a wrestler. Okay, so she'd never expected him to _give up_ the band, but he could scale it back, only do the shows when they were convenient for the both of them, together, like she thought they would be when this crazy journey had started. When she pictured the ending, if there was to be one, it ended with that bang, that supernova of light that would blind the world, leave it a gaping crater and nothing more.

Not a fizzle.

Not a pop.

"Stephanie," he sighed with every syllable, his voice drooping lower and lower as he stared at the floor in front of her. "You're not making this easy for me."

"Life isn't easy," she'd countered. "You know where I stand, you know how I am, you know how I have to be, Chris. Look, I'm not asking you to give up the band, I'd never ask you to do that, you know that, but—"

"But what, Stephanie," his voice raised this time, even slower than it had drooped. He was getting angry and if he got angry, she was going to get angry, and then they'd both be angry, and the conversation would get nowhere fast. "I'm supposed to just sit back, make everything convenient for _you_?"

"It would work out for the both of us."

"Why can't _you_ ever make allowances for me?"

"Because I have to do paperwork and take meetings—"

"I do too!"

"But you always schedule them whenever you want, whenever it's convenient for you, why can't Fozzy be that?"

"Because I don't want it to be _that_! I want it to be a success, and I can't do that when it's a side project!"

"Well, I'm sorry then," Stephanie told him, "I'm sorry that you can't see where I'm coming from because you are _so_ blinded by your band! Maybe you love your band more than you love me, maybe that's it."

"Oh yes, real mature, Stephanie, maybe I'll go fuck a drum set," Chris told her.

"I was thinking a trumpet would be more appropriate!" she yelled back at him. They laughed because that's who they were. They laughed and then they calmed down and they looked at each other. "Things are going in separate directions, aren't they?"

"It would appear so."

Fizzle.

"I don't want to keep you from your dreams," she told him valiantly, gazing up at him with those smoky blue-gray eyes he'd become so accustomed to over the years. There were so many expressions hidden behind those stormy orbs, so many she hid from everyone except him. She knew he loved her, knew he probably always would, but they were independent, too much so, the both of them, and this was how their downfall would erupt. "It's me or the band though, Chris, it's me or the band."

He was selfish because he chose the band. She was selfish because she chose her work. Independence reigned and neither one of them was willing to give an inch. Oh, they both talked about loving each other and always being friends, that they'd been together too long not to be friends. They said the right things, but at the basis of the argument was their inherent selfishness, neither one truly seeing the other side. She'd lost him to a band, he'd lost her to her work, they were selfish people with only their goals in mind. It made her question whether they'd ever really worked or if they were always destined to put their own dreams in front of the others. Maybe that was why they never saw fit to get married.

Pop.

She thought, though, oh how she thought, that he'd come back, come crawling back to her, begging her, telling her he was wrong, he needed her. So when the first week passed by and she didn't hear a word from him save for a short message saying he was picking stuff up soon (while having the audacity to call her from some sort of club or bar), she knew that he was for real, that he'd actually chosen his band over her, this time, it was for real, everything they'd worked at for 9 years was really nothing more than a past relationship with a past boyfriend, and suddenly, she was thrust right back into the dating scene.

Maybe it was selfish of her to expect him to give up everything to come crawling back to her, but hadn't they already established the way their minds worked. In the end, she sat there, waiting for him to show up (sometime, he'd said, no definite date, but she waited there all day, everyday, just to see him like the idiot she was), but he hadn't yet, probably planning to show up when he knew she was working, so she could come home to a half-empty house that hadn't been there before. She stood up and grabbed his ratty shoes and threw them across the room. She could hate him, that was easy, she could hate him until the end of time.

It certainly made it easier than loving him even when her heart was broken.

A band had torn them apart.

A band.

She'd lost him to a fucking band.


	2. Chapter 2

****A/N: Thank you all so much for the reviews of the first chapter. I was honestly contemplating either leaving this as a one-shot or taking it down altogether, but I decided not to. As such, I'm not sure I will follow the original challenge, but I did come up with an idea that I think I'll enjoy, so I hope that you'll enjoy it too, and hopefully you'll leave a review, thanks! :)

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**Day 10**

"So he's coming over?"

Stephanie threw her legs over the side of the leather chair she was sitting in, facing the backyard. "Yeah, he said he was coming over to get his things," Stephanie answered. "I packed up some of the things for him, put them in some boxes so it makes it easier."

Her friend, Marcie, gave a short laugh, "I'm surprised you didn't dump all his things on the lawn and make him pick it all up."

Stephanie had to laugh at that. Once upon a time, that was _exactly_ what she would have done. "No, I mean, I thought about it, but that was days ago."

"Oh, so you're in the…what stage of grief? The denial part?"

"No, I think I've gone straight to acceptance," Stephanie told her. "I mean, it's not like I _hate_ him. I don't hate him. I mean, I don't think I ever could hate him, you know what I mean."

"So you're just hoping it'll be a booty call when he comes over?"

"I'm not, why must you go there?"

"Um, because Chris is hot. Would you mind if I date him?" Marcie joked. "I would just give up the husband for a shot at that."

"Shut up, and no, you can't have him," Stephanie told him. "I'm not mad at him, I mean, I am because it didn't have to be like this, but I have to take responsibility for what this is as well. It wasn't just his fault that things went this way. I mean, yes, he's leaving me for a band, but I'm letting him go, you know."

"Stephanie Marie McMahon, stop being logical for once in your goddamned life," Marcie told her with exasperation. "You are giving the rest of the world a bad name when you don't even take two weeks to be absolutely pissed off."

"What the hell am I supposed to do? Sit here and eat tub after tub of ice cream, pining away for him? He's not dead, Marc, and I'm not going to act like he will be out of my life forever. We can still be friends after an appropriate amount of time has passed."

"And then you go and ruin the illusion of perfection," Marcie sighed dramatically. "There is no chance in hell you and Chris will ever be friends, not a damn chance. You guys were together for too long. If he gets a girlfriend, you are going to be seeing red, and the same goes for him."

"It's going to happen eventually, I mean, I'm going to get out on the scene again eventually, but that is _definitely_ not one of the parts of the breakup I'm at yet. I don't know when I will be ready for that, but it will happen, and it'll happen for him as well."

"Probably already has," Marcie muttered, "what with the stupid band thing?"

"You don't know him like I know him," Stephanie said, but her voice hitched at the very end. She hadn't thought about that. Chris was an impulsive person, sometimes he did things without thought. She knew she had no more claim on him, that their relationship was over and done with, but she hoped he hadn't immediately gone out and banged a chick…or two…or three. Oh God, she was not going to let her mind wander there.

But he was going on tour, where he had fans of the female persuasion, and she knew some of these fans fancied they could get Chris into bed with a little bit of heavy coaxing. She'd seen it firsthand too many times when she would go to various gigs with Chris. And she didn't even go to all of his shows! Who knew the crowds, hordes really, of women that had been there when she hadn't been.

_Stephanie stood proudly backstage, watching Chris perform with his band. He sounded incredible, and she couldn't help but notice he kept glancing in her direction. Every time he did, she threw him a smile, even though she knew he probably wouldn't see it. She knew it though, could feel the pride surging through her body and hopefully right into his. She knew Chris would succeed with this because he succeeded at everything, but that didn't stop her pride for a moment._

_After the encore, he came backstage and lifted her into his arms, spinning her around, "How amazing were we?"_

"_So amazing, the crowd was loving it," she looked down at him, leaning down slightly to capture his lips, tasting the sweat gathered there from the hot lights, but she didn't care._

"_I know, they were eating it all up," he put her down, but didn't let go of her. "I have to go sign some autographs and stuff, but do you want to come with me or…you could probably take a taxi to the hotel if you really, _really_ wanted to_."_ He said the last part in such a way that told her he really wanted her to stay._

"_I'll stay, you big dummy," she laughed, "You could just say, 'Stephanie, I would like you to stay.'"_

"_I know, but it's more fun when it seems like you came up with the idea by yourself."_

"_Chris, come on, lines are forming," Rich stuck his head backstage, "What did you think, Steph?"_

"_Killer as always," she grinned. She pushed Chris towards the stage, "Go, I'll follow in a second, make it seem like I'm not really here with you. I'll hold back since I don't want the masses mobbing me."_

_He chuckled, running his thumb along her jaw before leaning forward to press a kiss to her lips. "I'll see you out there, Slick."_

_Chris jogged off towards the stage, and Stephanie waited a few minutes before she stepped out into the club where Chris was hanging out with some fans and signing everything he could reach towards. They were having a meet and greet after the show this evening, and they were supposed to be set up at a table, but they were having a difficult time getting there._

"_God, he is so hot." Stephanie looked over and saw a couple of girls standing there, about to get in line to talk to Chris presumably. Well, she shouldn't presume, Fozzy was filled with good-looking guys._

"_You're telling me, when he's wrestling, you can pretty much see _everything_," the other girl giggled. Okay, so they _were_ talking about Chris. She should have figured. This happened so much of the time. She smirked to herself, wondering what creative way Chris would turn them down. Sometimes he would actually make them think they had a shot before he'd shoot them down, but he always shot them down._

"_I wonder if he would be willing, I mean, guy on the road, you know, it's gotta be hard to travel so much, he'd probably need a release," she laughed, biting her lip._

_Stephanie decided this time she wasn't going to let Chris be the one to turn him down. She walked right up to Chris, where he'd just sat down to sign autographs, grabbed his chin, leaning his face up and kissing him deeply. She pulled away and Chris's eyes widened before a silly grin spread across his face._

"_Wow," Chris said. "What was that for?"_

"_Just claiming what's mine."_

"_Damn, well…claim away…"_

"I'm just kidding," Marcie told her.

Stephanie heard a key in the door and then click of the unlock. "He's here, Marc, I've got to go."

"Okay, tell me how it goes, okay. You'll be fine, by the way. Everything happens for a reason, so whatever happened or happens between you two, you'll somehow get through it, whatever it is."

Stephanie had never been one for inspirational words or quotes of motivation. It wasn't her style. She thought for herself, and as such, didn't feel like she needed pep talks. She politely said thank you and ended the call without much fanfare. She swung her legs to the floor and stood up. She was in a pair of sweats and a t-shirt. Chris was no longer her boyfriend, she didn't have to impress him, not that she did it when they were together. He'd seen her at her worst so she didn't need to dress up. Some of her friends told her she should wear a new dress, get her hair done, manicure, pedicure, the works, anything to make him regret what he'd given up, but that wasn't how she played.

"Steph?" Chris called out into the house, and it was like old times, and for just a moment, she could believe that Chris had just returned home and that things weren't different.

"In here!" she shouted back and he's in there a moment later. She doesn't expect him to look different and he doesn't. He walked over to her and looked like he was going to hug her, but then thinks better of it. She gives a short laugh, "I don't bite, you know."

"I know," he said, then hugged her anyways. "How are you doing?"

"I'm okay, you?"

"I'm okay."

They're both lying and they know it, but they're each trying to ease the other's wounded soul. She knows him so well, too well actually, and she kind of wishes she didn't. She nodded her head at him a little, at a loss for anything to say really, and he does the same. They both just stood there, scuffing their feet a little bit. Maybe this wouldn't be such a clean break after all. It's only been ten days though, ten out of however many they are granted, so they just have to power through until it isn't so bad anymore.

"I packed up some of your things so you wouldn't have to do it all," Stephanie said, walking past him as she went upstairs and into one of the spare bedrooms they used when friends came over. She opened the door to reveal a few boxes sitting on the bed, most of them half full. "It's really only clothes and things. I know that you're going to have to come back for the office stuff."

"Yeah," he said, thinking about how much of a chore that was going to be. "I can just, uh, leave that for now. The good thing about business nowadays is that it can be done anywhere. The clothes are really what I needed."

"I figured," she said. "I didn't know what else you might want to take, but unless it's clearly mine, like my underwear or something, you can take whatever you want."

"You sure, because I was really thinking about taking the vacuum," he joked.

She laughed, "Okay, fine, it's not like the housekeeper doesn't bring one of her own when she comes to clean. Hey, uh, speaking of mundane things like vacuums, where are you staying? I mean, I'm not trying to snoop, unless you're staying with some woman, then I'm going to have to kill you right now."

"Nope, I'm not staying with another woman. Other women haven't existed in my realm for so long, I'm not even sure I know what to do with one that isn't brunette, gray-eyed, and kind of bitchy."

"And here I thought the break-up was amicable," she told him.

She could tell he wants to say something, but he changed his mind, "I'm staying at a hotel nearby for right now. I'm actually looking for a place in a couple different places."

"Such as?"

"Why do you want to know, you planning on tracking me down or something?" he asked her playfully, nudging her as he rooted through the boxes, seeing what she did and didn't pack in them.

"I'm just curious."

"I was thinking Florida again, but then I was also thinking California, you know, what with all the stuff I have going on."

He doesn't say the stuff about the band, knowing it's a sore subject, but it still hangs there. She fights off the bitterness rising in her throat, putting a forced smile on her face instead. It's easier that way, to just ignore it, he's doing it, she can do it too. "Well, um, I guess I'll lave you to it. I've actually got to go to the store, so you can have some peace and quiet while you, uh, pack."

"Thanks, Stephanie," he said, giving her a brief look before going back to his packing.

He's not there when she returns.


	3. Chapter 3

****A/N: Thanks for all the feedback. This story is hard to write because I definitely have a difficult time keeping them apart from each other, it's like an impossible mission. Hope you enjoy, and leave a review if you can! :)

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**Day 15**

"Thanks for helping me, man."

"What's a best friend for?" Dave shrugged.

Chris looked over all his things, "I can't believe I have to put all my stuff in storage, this is pathetic. I officially have no place to live, I am homeless."

"Dude, I think you're over-blowing it just a little," Dave scoffed, "you're only homeless until your picky ass finds an apartment you like, or whatever you want to get."

"Yeah, apartment, I mean, I don't expect to use it much since I'm going to be touring for a while. It'll just be a place to crash in between gigs," Chris shrugged, glancing back over his things. "You're right, this is only temporary."

"Yeah, so no worries. Have you decided on where you're going to live?" Dave asked. He knew his friend probably wouldn't want to stay in Connecticut. It was a small state, and an even smaller area where he would probably run into Stephanie more often than not.

"Anywhere but here," Chris chuckled to himself, "I was thinking New York, but then, a lot of the stuff I've been doing has been going on in LA, so that could be another spot, plus it would be really far away from Stephanie, and anything wrestling related."

"Are you really that eager to get away from Stephanie?" Dave wondered. If he was honest, and he'd told this to Chris right after learning of the breakup, he thought this breakup was stupid. Stephanie was perfect for Chris, the perfect foil to his personality. She kept him grounded when he decided to float above the clouds. He never thought he'd meet anyone who could tether Chris, but that was what Stephanie did. It was just such a shame that Chris's dreamer brain had to float away again.

"Not really, I mean, yes," Chris said, correcting himself and causing Dave to raise and eyebrow, "don't give me that, I'm still getting used to this entire thing. Stephanie and I have barely been broken up two weeks, I'm still getting used to this entire thing."

"Yeah, I think the truth is always the first thing out of your mouth, especially knowing who I'm talking to," Dave told him and Chris rolled his eyes, shutting the storage unit with a loud bang. "And there's you taking out your anger about the entire thing."

"I'm not angry," Chris told him, dusting off his hands. "It was a mutual thing, we both decided that it was time to end it. I mean, we just wanted different things."

"And you couldn't compromise?"

"What is this, time to lecture me?" Chris asked angrily.

It wasn't like he necessarily wanted to break up with Stephanie, but if she couldn't understand his desire to make Fozzy a success, he couldn't be with her. Fozzy was important to him. It was important to him to try and make the band as successful as he could. It was a huge step signing with Century Media, and he wanted to build on that, and to do that, he had to get Fozzy's name out there, he had to go on tour, he had to gain fans. Stephanie kept acting like Fozzy was just something he did for fun when it was something more than that. If she couldn't see that, he couldn't be with her.

"Not lecturing you."

"You're supposed to be _my_ friend, Speewee," Chris reminded him.

"Yeah, it's kind of hard to _just_ be your friend when you were with Stephanie for nine years," Dave reminded him. "I kind of got to know her too over that span of time. So I consider her my friend as well."

"Well, you aren't going to see her anymore, are you?"

"And why wouldn't I?" Dave asked him. "I just told you she's my friend, and since you guys have been together, she and I have gotten close because she's always been with you, so if she wants to talk to me or invites me to something, I'm not going to snub her."

"You should."

"Why? Because the two of you are so stubborn that you can't see that there was an easy solution to your supposedly big problem?" Dave just had to come out and say it. He loved Chris and Stephanie, but they were both being idiots. Maybe he should stage some kind of intervention for his friends, or just lock them in a room together until they either killed each other or started making out. It would be one of the two for sure.

"She didn't support me!"

"That's a load of crap and you know it," Dave told him, "that woman has been by your side for nine years."

"She kept thinking that Fozzy was a side project, something I just did for fun when it's not. If she can't even see what's important to me then why am I with her? I mean, why _was_ I with her? She just didn't get it, she didn't get what this was, and besides, we're just going down different paths right now. It was easier when I was wrestling because we were in the same place, we saw each other all the time, but it's different now. I have my things, she has her things, and we've just been leading different lives."

"But eventually, you're going to go back to wrestling, you always do."

"I did because of her," Chris admitted. "Sometimes I didn't even want to go back—"

"Oh, don't give me the 'Stephanie made me do it' speech, it didn't work when you started getting pedicures, and it's not going to work now," Dave just looked at him and Chris made a face. "You went back because you love it, and you know and I know you're going to go back at some point. Are you prepared to see Stephanie with another guy?"

"Has she said something to you?" Chris stared hard at Dave.

"Let me take a picture of this moment," Dave pretended to have a camera and clicked it, "this is you being paranoid, but you know that Stephanie is free to date and sleep with whatever guy she wants to. And Stephanie is hot, and only getting hotter with age. If you think she's going to stay single long, you're delusional, man. Someone is going to come and snatch her up."

"She's not going to do that two weeks after we break up," Chris said, but there was a catch in his voice. He'd dutifully ignored the thought that Stephanie would be with another man. They'd been together so long that the thought turned his stomach. There'd been plenty of men who had been interested in her over the years. He'd never been the jealous type, but there was something about Stephanie that made him wary of other guys.

"_Chris, come over here, there's someone I want you to meet."_

_Chris's ears perked up as he heard his name being called. Stephanie was several feet away with some guy. He was good-looking, sandy brown hair and he had that debonair air that most of Vince and Linda's friends had. He excused himself from his conversation with Shane and walked over to Stephanie. Before he could even think, he wrapped his arm around her waist, curling his hand possessively against her hip. _

"_What's up?" Chris asked Stephanie, leaning over to kiss her temple. It wasn't meant as a marking of his territory, so to speak, but it was certainly almost felt that way._

"_I just wanted to introduce you to Foster, he's an old friend of Shane's from high school. I haven't seen him in years, and we were just catching up. Foster took me to my winter formal my sophomore year because my date canceled on me at the last minute."_

"_I felt so bad for her, I told her I'd take her, I had to borrow one of Shane's suits since I was over at his house, but we had fun, didn't we?" Foster laughed._

"_Yeah, you were actually more fun than my original date ever was," Stephanie joined in on his laughter. Chris did not. "Foster is thinking about moving back here, my dad told him if he wanted, he could have a job in our marketing department."_

"_I'm still looking around, but it's a nice offer, I might have to take him up on that."_

"_You should, Shane would love having you around to get into trouble with again," Stephanie joked with him._

"_Speaking of him, I'm going to go catch up with him while he's free, I haven't seen Marissa around, is she here?"_

"_Yeah, she's just busy with Declan, you know how babies are," Stephanie said. "I'll talk to you later though."_

"_Bye, Steph, nice meeting you, Chris," Foster waved._

_Stephanie turned to her boyfriend and smirked, "You are the most obvious man in the entire universe."_

"_What are you talking about?" Chris acted aloof._

"_You don't have to be jealous of someone I went out with _one_ time and only because I was a pathetic girl who had no date," Stephanie squeezed his hand. "I appreciate your adorable jealousy though, acting all possessive, just don't get too possessive over me, then we'll have a problem. I'm an independent woman, and I don't need a man."_

_Chris laughed, "I'm not possessive, you're crazy."_

"_Just about you," she leaned up to kiss him._

"Maybe not, but it's inevitable," Dave shrugged, "how are you going to deal with that?"

"Like an adult, I love Stephanie, but she's not my girlfriend anymore, so any choices she makes, those are hers, I'm not going to interfere," Chris said, but his words rang false because he kept thinking about how he would absolutely want to interfere if she found another guy.

But he couldn't and wouldn't do that. Stephanie deserved better than an ex-boyfriend who couldn't let go. He was right when he said they were going into two different directions. She would always love the company, and he loved his band. There wasn't really any middle ground to be found right now. He wanted to work on Fozzy, and maybe that would be easier without a girlfriend to answer to. It wasn't like Stephanie controlled what he did, but he wouldn't have to worry about going home constantly to spend time with her. He had no home now.

"You sure about that?" Dave asked as they finally started to leave the storage facility.

"Yeah, I'm sure," Chris told her, "I want her to be happy, that's all. If she's happy with another guy…that's great. I'm a tough act to follow though."

"Uh huh," Dave shook his head. These two people were so damn stubborn. He wondered what Stephanie was going through. Probably the same thing knowing her. She was just as headstrong and she'd probably convinced herself that this was the best course of action as well. The both of them made his head hurt. He'd been friends with Chris since they were young, but sometimes he couldn't get inside Chris's head.

"What is that for?" Chris asked.

"You don't want anyone to follow you, let's face it, the second she gets a boyfriend, you're going to scope him out, and what if it's someone you know, I mean, you know better than anyone how many guys in the company have been drooling over the shot to date her."

Chris frowned, "She doesn't want anyone in the company." Stephanie had never shown any interest in any guy in the company. Sure, he knew there were some opportunistic bastards who saw her and saw what she could do for them, it was only natural. Stephanie was a naturally wary person though; she had been when it was him. She knew which guys to avoid though, she wouldn't find herself with someone less than deserving of her. But then…nobody deserved her, Stephanie was a special person and no man deserved her.

"Well she didn't when she was with _you_, but you're not together anymore, so what's stopping her, nothing."

Chris didn't speak for a second, but then said, "No, no, she isn't attracted to anyone there."

"You say that now, but I'm just warning you, Chris, it's going to happen at some point, are you prepared for it?"

He didn't say anything, but no, he wasn't prepared for that.


	4. Chapter 4

****A/N: So...difficult...keeping...them...apart...enjoy!

* * *

**Day 27**

"So when are you going to get back in the dating world?"

Stephanie nearly choked on her iced tea. "Excuse me?"

"The dating world," her friend, Julie, told her. "You know, where a guy meets a girl, they hit it off, they go out, then sex. When are you getting back to that?"

"How can you even ask me that?" Stephanie told her, giving her an incredulous look. "Chris and I haven't even been apart a month, and you are already putting me back into the dating scene. Do you not see anything wrong with this picture?"

"Stephanie, you _need_ to get out there. I'm not going to have you sitting around wasting the rest of your life away because you aren't ready or whatever bullshit you want to spout at me," Julie told her. Stephanie loved her friend dearly, but Julie was far more outgoing than Stephanie was. Plus, her friend had never had a committed relationship.

"I'm not wasting my life away."

"Yes, you are. You wasted nine _years_ of your life on that loser—"

"Okay, stop it right there," Stephanie held her hand up. "We can do this without dragging Chris's name through the mud. That's not what I want, that will not make me happy, so can we cut it with the Chris insults, please?"

"Fine," Julie conceded, "but it's not like he doesn't deserve it. You gave him the _best_ years of your life, and now he goes away just to do his music. That's such crap, Stephanie. I mean, come on, you were always there for him. Remember when his mother died, and you were the one who took care of all the arrangements."

Stephanie shook her head, "Jules, even if we weren't together and we were just friends, I would have done that anyways. That's not a good example."

"Still, you stayed with him for nine years, and he never even not once proposed to you, what's with that? It's like, what, she's not good enough for you, you dillweed."

Stephanie laughed, "That's not true though. He did propose to me, once, a long time ago."

"He what!"

"_Do you ever think about marriage?" Chris mused as they sat on the couch catching up on their television shows from the week. He glanced a peek at Stephanie, but she was still staring up at the television._

"_I guess, but not specifically I guess you could say."_

"_What do you mean not specifically?" he asked her._

"_I mean, I don't go around picturing our wedding. I mean, I've thought about it, sometimes I'll pass by a wedding gown place, and I'll think, oh, that dress is beautiful, but I guess I never actually picture myself in a wedding gown."_

"_What would you wear to our wedding?" Chris asked her._

"_To our what?" Stephanie chuckled. "Are you really asking what I'd wear to our wedding?"_

"_Yeah, sure," he nodded. "I mean, would you want traditional, non-traditional, a nudist wedding. I mean, I'm pretty much up for anything at this point, it's really up to you what you want to do."_

"_Wait, is this a proposal?" Stephanie asked._

"_Well, I mean, it's not _not_ a proposal if that's what you mean," he told her. She looked up at him and he was biting his lip. He looked actually serious. They'd been dating for three years, and marriage had come up a couple times, but really, here, now, like this?_

"_So you _are_ proposing to me?" Stephanie asked._

"_I mean, if you want to get married to me, I wouldn't oppose it," he told her, "I just, I mean, we've been together a while and…it seems like the natural progression…"_

"_Wait, hold up," Stephanie held a hand up, "the natural progression? Chris, nobody said we ever had to get married. There's no law that dictates it. If we want to get married, we will, but not because either of us felt like it was something we had to do. And if it's not something we ever want to do, that's okay too. I think, with something as big as marriage, we both have to be on the same page."_

"Wait, you guys were together for nine years, so you were never on the same page, not enough to get married?" Julie asked. "Don't you think that tells you something about your relationship? If neither of you saw marriage then you're definitely ready to date."

"No, it wasn't like that, when we hit the six year mark, it was like everything kind of changed between us," Stephanie told her friend. "I mean, I know that's around the time when were telling people we just didn't feel like getting married, but it's not like that didn't come without a lot of really frank discussion."

"_Hey," Stephanie said, flopping down onto the couch face first, her hair falling around her. _

"_Rough day at the office, honey?" Chris walked in from the kitchen, wiping his hands on a towel._

"_With work, no, with family, yes," Stephanie turned over so she could look up at Chris. She groaned, and he lifted his legs so he could sit down. He put her legs on his lap and took off her shoes, rubbing her feet a little bit._

"_What did your family do now?"_

"_Not all of them, just my mother," Stephanie said, "I love her to death, I really do, but if she pressures me into marrying you anymore, I will disown her, and then I will move far, far away, change my name, maybe my gender, who knows."_

"_What did she say this time?"_

"_You've been with him for six years," Stephanie imitated her mother's voice. "Don't you think it's time you do the right thing and settle down? God forbid you ever have a child, wouldn't that complicate things?"_

"_Don't listen to her."_

"_I normally wouldn't, but she keeps doing this," Stephanie told him. "I just…I don't want the hassle."_

"_The hassle of…"_

"_A wedding, marriage, declaring it all to people, paperwork, I like what we are. I don't see why we have to change. I don't see why everyone is trying to force us into something when what we have works, you know?"_

"_So let's not do it," Chris told her. She lifted her head from the couch and looked at him as if he'd grown another head. She'd always just assumed at some point they would get married. It was the natural progression after all, they just couldn't not get married, it was just…but then again, this _was_ working for them. So why couldn't it work like this forever? "I'm serious."_

"_I can tell, but do you really think we can?"_

"_Yes, we can because it's _our_ lives, not theirs," Chris said, "nobody can tell us what to do with our relationship. If we don't want to get married, nobody said we have to get married, and you're right, what we have right now, it's a good thing. I love you, you love me, right?"_

"_More than anyone," Stephanie answered immediately and without thought. The mere thought of not loving Chris for the rest of her life was not something she ever worried about. She knew Chris was it for her._

"_Then what's wrong with what we have now?"_

"_I don't know, I mean, when you're in love, you get married, right?"_

"_Yeah, but you don't have to. What is it but a piece of paper binding us legally together, we're already bound together. We've been together for six years, we've lived together for four of those six years, our names are both on the deed to the house, we've built a life together, so what, we don't get married, for all intents and purposes we are. We don't need a ceremony to tell us what we already know."_

"_But our families?"_

"_Are not part of us," he told her slowly. "We can tell them we're not getting married, and it's our decision."_

"_You would do that for me?" Stephanie asked. "I mean, if this is what we both want, I don't feel like I need to marry you, you feel the same?"_

"_I do," he told her, and she laughed at the irony of those words. "I want to be with you, but we don't need all that in our lives. I just need you, that's it. Nothing else, just you. I could be the poorest man in the world, and if you were with me, I wouldn't feel it at all. That's it, Steph, you and me, that's all."_

"_What if we have kids?" she wondered. "How does that work?"_

"_Well, hopefully you'll allow them to have my name—"_

"_Without a doubt," she interjected._

"_Then we raise a kid as a family," he shrugged. "Again, just because we aren't married doesn't mean we wouldn't make great parents."_

"_Okay, so we're doing this?"_

"_Yeah, and this doesn't rule out marriage, it's just saying for now and the foreseeable future, we don't need it. It's what we both want," he told her, "now get up here."_

_Stephanie sat up and crawled into Chris's lap. He wrapped his arms around her and she kissed him, putting all her thanks into that kiss. She knew that he wanted to marry her, and maybe it had even been on the horizon, but he wanted her to be happy. She knew someday marriage would come, but for now, this was right for them. She just wanted her mother off her back. She wanted the time to really want this for herself._

"So why the hell did you guys break up then?" Julie asked. "Seriously, if it this was about his touring, why not just go with it, it's not like he was hurting anyone."

"It's complicated. The band thing was just…it was a thing, and he's gone so much, and it just didn't feel like we were moving forward anymore, it was like we were standing still, and it was frustrating feeling like I was competing with a band for his attention."

"So why didn't you go with him?"

"Um, I don't know, because I help run a company," Stephanie said sarcastically. "I can't just go away and leave my job."

"So you work on the road, you conference in. You know, you could've been their manager or tour manager, I mean, who is better at that kind of stuff than you are? You dealt with booking things for your dad's company, you could have done it with him."

"Why the sudden change in attitude? I thought I was supposed to get out in the dating world!"

"I didn't realize how you two were. I guess I always kind of saw him as the deadbeat in the relationship, like why didn't he put a ring on it, you know what I mean," Julie said, "I had no idea it was kind of on you."

"I told you!"

"I guess I didn't believe it," Julie shrugged. "I mean, you didn't tell me specifics or anything. But if this is really over, we need to get you back out there. No mourning periods. The only thing a mourning period does is make you have broken-up sex with him."

"You say that like that's a bad thing," Stephanie laughed. Chris was good in bed.

"It's not, it's just…when that happens, what happens afterwards, it never ends well. If you get back out there, then you won't fall back into patterns, and if you're serious about moving forward, then this is how you do it."

"So what do I do, do I go on a dating website, let you and my other friends set me up with guys, what do I do now? I don't know how to date. I don't know how to do anything that doesn't involve being with Chris."

"Well, you met Chris at work, look for someone else at work."

"What? Are you kidding me? There's nobody I want there."

"Have you looked?"

"I know I've never been attracted to anyone else," Stephanie said, "I've never even really looked at any other guys over there. I don't think I'm into anyone there."

"You never let yourself look before," Julie told her. "You were with Chris, you loved him so you didn't have reason. But now you do, let yourself look around, see if there's anything you like, you might be surprised, just look around."

Stephanie knew she had nothing to lose. She _did_ need to move on, and it would be convenient. She didn't think she was ready to start dating yet, but it wouldn't hurt to flirt at least. She could definitely flirt. Flirting never hurt anyone and she and Chris both flirt when they were together. But what if her soulmate was there, right under her nose, and she never saw it. What would that make her relationship with Chris? Ultimately wrong? She was upset over that, but she couldn't live under a rock for the rest of her life. She was still young, and she still had a lot to offer.

"Okay, I'll look around."


End file.
